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Exuvia

by Drosophelia

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1.
Exuvia 01:18
2.
This blank canvas is in fact the mask. Draped in concealment and cloaked by disgust. Averted assurance has occluded my face. Prioritized shelter veiled into restraint. Is this what I wanted? A retreat with regret? Self-inflict my seclusion a forceful neglect. Who was I ? What was I ? Kindred spirits accent the distress. My contorting expression sculpts a pretense. Malignant constrainment has berated my grace. I start to thrive when I reject my aches. Is this what I wanted? A retreat with regret? Self-inflict my seclusion a forceful arrest.
3.
Solstice 03:25
4.
Consonant 05:28
Choose your paper Choose your station Red stain the teeth. Remove the traits you should consider unwanted. Truth is sculpted Show them yours is better. Submit, comply or get shut out. The new order Disconnects the dissidents Eliminates their thoughts Essential is the cancellation for the disobedient are wrong. Mute your voice before it manifests, before it manifests. Cleanse your soul, prove your worth. Shape yourself. A facsimile of what you ought to be. A composite of all the rest. Ignored out of existence denied from existence. Expression of public dissent remains a misdemeanor. Marinate their thoughts Validation by numbers. Another voice echoes the ruling ideology The line is exclusive as it ticks all the boxes. Shut. It. Out.
5.
6.
Adulterant 02:50
No matter how hard I try nothing can be changed. My attempts at reshaping reality have failed when certainties ebb away instead. Despite my insistence all my efforts were in vain. No matter how I misrepresent the unwanted truth pervades. All have left while you remain. All has changed while you're the same. And all erodes as perceptions change. I shall fill in all the blanks with a fabrication a remembrance of my own design. I've grown nostalgic about a forgery. I'm happier in my apathy, mMy happiness lies in apathy. When I took solace in indifference I thought I'd found peace instead I lost my mind.
7.
Conduit 02:12
Did you truly think your feelings were being hurt or were you merely acting out the appropriate response ? Have you purposefully molded your persona carefully following the dominant discourse ? Are you in pursuit of the definitive model providing you with guaranteed success ? Are you putting on a show ? Or do you honestly not know any better ? You don't like to be challenged on your beliefs. Not because they are held strongly. You don't like to be challenged because they are not your own. How can you defend what you haven't considered to begin with ? You're conduit instead of author. You're upset about the realization: you don't know who you are. You only know who you think you should be.
8.
Vivisector 05:50
9.
Legion 05:32
Slowly peeling back the scorn as misconduct's erased. Coerced into implanted acceptance Destitute, beaten, broken, held in contempt. You're needed malleable and pliant, obedient (and) dutiful, yielding and ready to accept control. Condemned to show commitment And recoiling at our rule, the insurgent will be scolded, taunted by our devotees. Likes to see erased, likes to erase. Docile, docile. Lashing out at dominion remains a laceration unseen. Submerged in compliance, left castigated, forever silent in defeat. You're needed malleable and pliant, obedient (and) dutiful, yielding and ready to accept control. Downtrodden, nullified, wiped and indolent, the myriad inaudible resistance non-resilient. You can claim me, gag and mute me, you can deride me until deletion of my defiance is achieved. You can't delude me can't distract me. you may deride me. I cover up the bruises that remind me of my place.
10.
11.
Stalwart 04:28
12.
Contaminant 03:54
It’s (wholly) clear to me that you're no use to me. Where you demand my time I will cut the ties. I'll discredit your memory, I'll sever the cord, I'll reclaim command over my own choices without grief or remorse. The host nurtures the parasite to be discarded after tending to you. An imperfect balance, one-sided affair. Tightly anchored, fading away. It will be easier for them to jump into the water, for them to drown and be released. You killed my joy and stole my worth. You were my blight and not the first. You don't know who you are you only know the person you think you should be.

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released August 1, 2021

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Drosophelia Amsterdam, Netherlands

A painted world in which memory, decay and industrialist tones meet science fiction; a eulogy for the what-has-been and that what-will-never-come-to-be.

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